REGRETS

I often look at my life and think, I only have one or two regrets but listening to Luther sing, Dance with My Father" I realized I had another one, just now realized in that instance of the title. I remembered being in our house on 31st and Stevens, and my fathers shoes looking dirty before I stepped on them then, forgetting all about them as they began to move with the music he'd turned on. That's where I learned all the steps to all the dances I would commit to memory when I grew up. That's where I learned about timing, pause and any number of things that make you move your body to music, knowing you will want to dance forever.

Along the window sill of life, many things rise up in that window you sit by and with me, his absence from my life was always looming in the distance while it rained down my life's window. It made me angry, not to have him in my life, always being late to pick me up, always drunk, always loving me regardless of how he was, or how ugly I could perform because of it.

Then one day I quit thinking of myself and thought of him and because I was a grown ass woman, I realized he was the best father he could be, just not what I needed and listening to Luther wanting to dance with his Father again, I felt my heart give itself a small squeeze and at that moment, I too, wanted to dance with my Father again, but this time tell him, I loved him.